Heart and Soul

I don't have a complete thought or a lesson to teach, but I think I
have found the point where pschology ends and spirituality begins, within me.
I have never experienced more emotional pain in my life than I have in the past year and last 3 months, in perticular. There must be some lesson to all of this. I cannot find peace within myself but I think I certainly have discovered what love truly is.

While I was in Iraq I became concerned that I may leave this world and never pass along important life lessons to my children. I wondered what I could write down for them. But I didn't want to write down things that only pertained to this point in time. I wanted them to be lessons that would pertain to their adult lives well into the future.
I wanted to pass on timeless, universal truths. When I posed that question to myself; what do I know as universally true? I didn't really have an answer for myself. I couldn't think of anything that was true regardless of it being 10,000 B.C. or 2483 A.D.

That was in 2006 and I never found the universal truths that I was looking for until now. My universal truths are:

1) Love is giving; not taking.
2) Nothing is further away than a moment ago.

I know it may not seem like "shazam!" But these are truths that I have been looking for, for my entire life. To FEEL those truths is the most significant thing. To feel it makes you embrace honesty, patience and sincerity and makes you never want to hold back a tear or a smile.

All of the problems of my life are FAR from solved, but I know these
truths will guide my actions.

Commitment

Ok, I have some things to say that I know will be disagreed with. The topic today is marriage and relationships. Any of you who have been in a long relationship, marriage, or have been married and divorced will probably have strong and possibly disagreeable opinions about my logic. I don't take away from your opinions because in YOUR relationships, the things that are important to you ARE the important things regardless of what I or anyone else says. But hear me out and follow my logic please.

The core of my opinion is that COMMITMENT is the core of a marriage or long term relationship. It is the product of our choices. It is what we feel, when we feel it and how long we feel it for.

Some of you will say "What about LOVE?" or "What about TRUST?". And my answer is that they are essential. They are needed in abundance and are the choices that determine commitment. We CHOOSE to love and we don't always love. We CHOOSE to trust, yet we don't always trust. It is when we consistently make the same CHOICE to love and trust over time that these choices (in the affirmative) accumulate and become commitment.

Commitment is, in itself a choice, but not in the same way. It is only determined with TIME. They say that "time heals all wounds" but time is also the judge of your actions. It is the evidence of your choices. Time+Trust+Love= Commitment.

We can love, but it may pass. We can trust, but then we may lose trust. It is the choice and free will to continue to try that equates to commitment. If trust is lost, then commitment is the vaccine that will restore it. If love wanes and becomes weak, it is commitment that will bring it back into blossom. Commitment is the true key to marriage and/or long term relationships.

I have spoken before about "intent" in terms of energy and the universe, but it also pertains heavily to commitment. You must have the same and consistent INTENT or vision, or dream, or goal in order to make the choices to love and trust. If your intent is focused, then you will make the choices every day that will lead to commitment.

As I mentioned, I said that the CHOICES are an example of "free will" and in a relationship there are 2 wills. Both parties must have the same "intent" in order to make the choices to love and trust. Those choices accumulate and grow into commitment. If you want to grow or save your marriage or relationship, both parties simply need to CHOOSE to make the right choices about love and trust. If you are already in that relationship then there is probably a degree of commitment already. That commitment is what will stabilize you and your partner and polarize your intent to make the choices to love and trust. One of those wills cannot carry the load alone. Both wills must be united in intent. But if you feel weak and unsure, look to your commitment and you will find love and trust.

I've used this quote on a previous blog entry, but it is as relevant with this topic as any other:

"The ancestor of every action is a thought." ~Emerson

Trying to Refocus

I haven't been very consistent with writing here, but I am going to attempt to organize and get some thoughts into a post soon. I have been going through some life altering and soul searching experiences lately and I have to re-double my efforts to find meaning in things that challenge meaning.

In the spiritual sense, I do feel that there is a purpose to all life, action, destruction, creation and intention. It is, however, difficult to apply my beliefs in very trying times. I must attempt to reassure my reality. I must trust what I know is true. I feel that every answer is floating around us and is there for the taking, if we have the will to grab it.

This is not really a blog entry today and not a mission statement of any kind, but I believe I will call it a "letter of intention".