Heart and Soul

I don't have a complete thought or a lesson to teach, but I think I
have found the point where pschology ends and spirituality begins, within me.
I have never experienced more emotional pain in my life than I have in the past year and last 3 months, in perticular. There must be some lesson to all of this. I cannot find peace within myself but I think I certainly have discovered what love truly is.

While I was in Iraq I became concerned that I may leave this world and never pass along important life lessons to my children. I wondered what I could write down for them. But I didn't want to write down things that only pertained to this point in time. I wanted them to be lessons that would pertain to their adult lives well into the future.
I wanted to pass on timeless, universal truths. When I posed that question to myself; what do I know as universally true? I didn't really have an answer for myself. I couldn't think of anything that was true regardless of it being 10,000 B.C. or 2483 A.D.

That was in 2006 and I never found the universal truths that I was looking for until now. My universal truths are:

1) Love is giving; not taking.
2) Nothing is further away than a moment ago.

I know it may not seem like "shazam!" But these are truths that I have been looking for, for my entire life. To FEEL those truths is the most significant thing. To feel it makes you embrace honesty, patience and sincerity and makes you never want to hold back a tear or a smile.

All of the problems of my life are FAR from solved, but I know these
truths will guide my actions.

Commitment

Ok, I have some things to say that I know will be disagreed with. The topic today is marriage and relationships. Any of you who have been in a long relationship, marriage, or have been married and divorced will probably have strong and possibly disagreeable opinions about my logic. I don't take away from your opinions because in YOUR relationships, the things that are important to you ARE the important things regardless of what I or anyone else says. But hear me out and follow my logic please.

The core of my opinion is that COMMITMENT is the core of a marriage or long term relationship. It is the product of our choices. It is what we feel, when we feel it and how long we feel it for.

Some of you will say "What about LOVE?" or "What about TRUST?". And my answer is that they are essential. They are needed in abundance and are the choices that determine commitment. We CHOOSE to love and we don't always love. We CHOOSE to trust, yet we don't always trust. It is when we consistently make the same CHOICE to love and trust over time that these choices (in the affirmative) accumulate and become commitment.

Commitment is, in itself a choice, but not in the same way. It is only determined with TIME. They say that "time heals all wounds" but time is also the judge of your actions. It is the evidence of your choices. Time+Trust+Love= Commitment.

We can love, but it may pass. We can trust, but then we may lose trust. It is the choice and free will to continue to try that equates to commitment. If trust is lost, then commitment is the vaccine that will restore it. If love wanes and becomes weak, it is commitment that will bring it back into blossom. Commitment is the true key to marriage and/or long term relationships.

I have spoken before about "intent" in terms of energy and the universe, but it also pertains heavily to commitment. You must have the same and consistent INTENT or vision, or dream, or goal in order to make the choices to love and trust. If your intent is focused, then you will make the choices every day that will lead to commitment.

As I mentioned, I said that the CHOICES are an example of "free will" and in a relationship there are 2 wills. Both parties must have the same "intent" in order to make the choices to love and trust. Those choices accumulate and grow into commitment. If you want to grow or save your marriage or relationship, both parties simply need to CHOOSE to make the right choices about love and trust. If you are already in that relationship then there is probably a degree of commitment already. That commitment is what will stabilize you and your partner and polarize your intent to make the choices to love and trust. One of those wills cannot carry the load alone. Both wills must be united in intent. But if you feel weak and unsure, look to your commitment and you will find love and trust.

I've used this quote on a previous blog entry, but it is as relevant with this topic as any other:

"The ancestor of every action is a thought." ~Emerson

Trying to Refocus

I haven't been very consistent with writing here, but I am going to attempt to organize and get some thoughts into a post soon. I have been going through some life altering and soul searching experiences lately and I have to re-double my efforts to find meaning in things that challenge meaning.

In the spiritual sense, I do feel that there is a purpose to all life, action, destruction, creation and intention. It is, however, difficult to apply my beliefs in very trying times. I must attempt to reassure my reality. I must trust what I know is true. I feel that every answer is floating around us and is there for the taking, if we have the will to grab it.

This is not really a blog entry today and not a mission statement of any kind, but I believe I will call it a "letter of intention".

Thought, Energy and the Entanglement Theory

I'm going to start this entry by repeating a statement that I made on Facebook:

"The ancestor of every action is a thought." ~Emerson

When you repeat a thought (or a statement), you are not only convincing yourself but you are convincing reality to the purpose of that thought. This is "the power of intention". This is explained by the theory of quantum entanglement. This video will give you an idea of what I am talking about:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QcKDvcnZrE

I have been thinking a lot lately about my purpose and the purpose of our species and the result of good and bad on the world, the universe, the perspective of eternity and the significance of time. I have been looking high and low and reading a lot of sources and watching a lot of videos and opinions on the web. The idea of Quantum entanglement is more than just the connection of particles but that those particles are energy and can exist at several positions in space simultaneously (not as copies or parts, but as ONE particle).

Check this link too:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eDqDcZm9EA
And listen to this guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTBX2lTDt6E

What's funny is that in 1995 I read a book called "The Celestine Prophecies" which was kind of a new-age "find your aura" type book and then I also read "Foucault's Pendulum" by Umberto Eco; translated from Italian, around the same time. In Foucault's Pendulum, the universe and the big bang are described as energy entering "the nothing". We call it the BIG bang, but the scale is actually irrelevant because something into nothing is not relative to any scale of size. Anyway, the energy that is introduced springs forth in all directions and slows as it moves away from the source of entry into the nothing. As the energy slows, it begins to vibrate and slow to different harmonies and frequencies; creating all of the elements. Now, you figure that all of this energy mixes around for billions of years forming planets, stars, solar systems, galaxies, etc. Eventually, there is life (organic life).

Now life is made of molecules formed of atoms which are basically the elements of energy at a specific frequency. So you and I and everything everywhere is made of energy. In addition to that, each particle or element of energy is "entangled" to every other piece and the same pieces can appear at different locations simultaeously. It's not even far fetched to say that if particles can exist at different points, why can't they also exist at different TIMES simultaneously.

That could mean that thoughts, actions, and events happening at any point along our perception of time/space could effect any other action or event at any other point of time/space. As I've been putting all of this together in my mind I have been thinking that even my thoughts about this concept are actually affecting the universe itself. It's like the universe is giving me the information thru experiences and then my thoughts are vibratiing out to the universe to repeat the call throughout time/space. I may be a little narcissistic to think this way but it is nice to think that my insignificant life, thoughts, intentions and actions could actually effect the universe and all creation.

Yeah, I'm mad as a hatter.

Pain, Time and Balance

I don't understand any meaning in the thousands of years of war, murder, rape, torture and betrayal that have happened among human beings. Whether it was recorded in history or not, there are millions upon millions of people who have suffered. It's not all in the past. There is still genocide, war and mass murder in places like Africa. Orphaned children and witnesses to atrocities. Where is the balance? I don't have the perspective to understand how things might be getting better or are somehow balanced.
All of the millions of lives that have lived on our earth and experienced, witnessed or performed great evil; all of those lifetimes of experiences, regrets and pain. Does all of it mean nothing?

I would like to think that the universe finds a way to absorb the experiences of people and return their energy to creation but I don't see any justice. Where is the balance? It disturbs me because if all of those millions of people and their lifetimes of experiences mean nothing, then I mean nothing.

Psychosis

Here is a definition I have stolen (borrowed)from Wikipedia.com (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychosis)

Psychosis: (from the Greek ψυχή "psyche", for mind or soul, and -ωσις "-osis", for abnormal condition), with adjective psychotic, literally means abnormal condition of the mind, and is a generic psychiatric term for a mental state often described as involving a "loss of contact with reality". People suffering from psychosis are said to be psychotic.

People create a layered web of illusions and delusions around themselves. Categorizing themselves and others, romanticizing and amplifying scenarios, situations, forecasts of the future and interpretations of the past to build a world around themselves that they can be comfortable with.

Reality is defined by the individual observing reality; the person who interprets their surroundings. This allows each of us to create our own reality within ourselves. This is psychosis.

Since it is common among most humans, you can't exactly call it "abnormal" but it is a "loss of contact with reality" in the sense that each of us view our realities individually and can't agree upon a common interpretation.

It would be great to clear away the cobwebs and see ourselves and the world around us, as we truly are. Frightening maybe, but refreshing nonetheless.

Strip away the self-induced filters and we can stop finding justification for our guilt, anticipating the reactions to our actions and make ourselves right with ourselves.

I know this is a rant and maybe hard to follow but I can't stop questioning my own reality. I see examples of people pushing others away because they challenge their reality. We reject those that do not fit into the story that we are writing. Every day is a casting call on the set of your life and you are approving and denying people entry into your reality. We are human beings and sometimes we are in opposition to ourselves. Each of us have the potential to be extremely cruel and callous one minute and then trustworthy, caring and generous another. We live our lives along that spectrum trying to define ourselves within our world. When we question our reality, we are questioning "who we are".

Who are we and why are we here?

Are we all the same identical soul, cast into varying circumstances, reacting to our world and changing based on our scenario? Are we ONE soul, recast over and over again into the same timeline as different people? Are we all fragments of ONE consciousness; traveling through creation trying to jigsaw ourselves back into a whole?

I don't know the answers, I just can't stop asking the questions.