Friday, October 2, 2009


Ok, I have some things to say that I know will be disagreed with. The topic today is marriage and relationships. Any of you who have been in a long relationship, marriage, or have been married and divorced will probably have strong and possibly disagreeable opinions about my logic. I don't take away from your opinions because in YOUR relationships, the things that are important to you ARE the important things regardless of what I or anyone else says. But hear me out and follow my logic please.

The core of my opinion is that COMMITMENT is the core of a marriage or long term relationship. It is the product of our choices. It is what we feel, when we feel it and how long we feel it for.

Some of you will say "What about LOVE?" or "What about TRUST?". And my answer is that they are essential. They are needed in abundance and are the choices that determine commitment. We CHOOSE to love and we don't always love. We CHOOSE to trust, yet we don't always trust. It is when we consistently make the same CHOICE to love and trust over time that these choices (in the affirmative) accumulate and become commitment.

Commitment is, in itself a choice, but not in the same way. It is only determined with TIME. They say that "time heals all wounds" but time is also the judge of your actions. It is the evidence of your choices. Time+Trust+Love= Commitment.

We can love, but it may pass. We can trust, but then we may lose trust. It is the choice and free will to continue to try that equates to commitment. If trust is lost, then commitment is the vaccine that will restore it. If love wanes and becomes weak, it is commitment that will bring it back into blossom. Commitment is the true key to marriage and/or long term relationships.

I have spoken before about "intent" in terms of energy and the universe, but it also pertains heavily to commitment. You must have the same and consistent INTENT or vision, or dream, or goal in order to make the choices to love and trust. If your intent is focused, then you will make the choices every day that will lead to commitment.

As I mentioned, I said that the CHOICES are an example of "free will" and in a relationship there are 2 wills. Both parties must have the same "intent" in order to make the choices to love and trust. Those choices accumulate and grow into commitment. If you want to grow or save your marriage or relationship, both parties simply need to CHOOSE to make the right choices about love and trust. If you are already in that relationship then there is probably a degree of commitment already. That commitment is what will stabilize you and your partner and polarize your intent to make the choices to love and trust. One of those wills cannot carry the load alone. Both wills must be united in intent. But if you feel weak and unsure, look to your commitment and you will find love and trust.

I've used this quote on a previous blog entry, but it is as relevant with this topic as any other:

"The ancestor of every action is a thought." ~Emerson